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Jan 07

How deficit thinking can hurt us.

Today is really a difficult day for me. I allowed myself to become a victim of the deficit thinking in blog world.

Lately, I have been reading some of your blogs and discussions about improving the deaf culture, how we should step aside from our personal differences and work together on the common issues. I was very thrilled to see the type of activity within these vloggers/bloggers.

I talked to some people about the activity within DeafRead (vloggers/bloggers) how they have raise the brainstorming, ideology, and issues within Deaf Culture. They warned me not to jump in this because of deficit thinking. I thought otherwise because I notice there are lot changes in these v/blogs lately. Your v/blogs have become more intelligent and debatable.

I decided to share you my passion to promote the advocacy of Deaf rights. Also try to find some ways where we can become more respected community in America. I hoped to engage some good discussions with you all. When I began to, I noticed I am getting comfortable to discuss the various issues involving Deaf Culture.

Today, I became the victim of deficit thinking. I tried to get myself out of it. I couldn’t. I had to defend my character because I fought so hard to get where I am. It ‘s really hard. Especially what I have started in this blog. I wanted to discuss many issues that will improve our perception of Deaf culture.

With these petty behaviors we are doing to each other is really appalling. Some of my friends showed me how most of bloggers write their articles (posts), the language they used… “I do not want to provoke, but…”, “I am not sure, but do you think…”, “NOTE: … academically recognized one – just my musings.”, and many many more. They pointed it out; most of you bloggers are scared to share your issues willingly.  It shows us that we are tiptoeing on a fine-thin ice in a pool of sharks. Poor all of you, I hope you do not get to experience what I just experienced. F.Y.I., It’s not pleasant experience.

Gosh, how can we ever settle our differences and focus on larger issues if we resort to these petty behaviors? It’s like we are SOOO ready for Martin Luther King Jr,’s dream, NOT! It’s because we are so below from these respected individuals who can discuss any issues in professional/respectable way when we resort to these petty behaviors such as crab-theory, stabbing, twisting, and what god knows. (This paragraph is a definitely an example of deficit-thinking!)

Like I said earlier, I admitted I became a victim in deficit thinking. I want to make things right by taking the action to end the deficit thinking. I’ve decided that I do not want to continue this (deficit thinking) any more; therefore, I will not continue addressing these people who practice deficit thinking to try solving things publicly. I will not post any deficit-thinking comments made by people (and myself included.). I will not waste my time doing these petty behaviors. It’s not helping us. So, what I am going to do, is to continue fighting for Deaf Rights elsewhere. Something I can contribute to my time better and  wisely when I fight for Deaf Rights.

I hope you will get involved in advocacy of Deaf Rights. It’s a great feeling and rewarding for yourself and the future of Deaf community. I look forward to see you at the rally some day!  :)

18 comments

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  1. anna s

    I am so sorry that it has happened to you. DeafRead has become like what you described, a swimming place of sharks underneath. I felt hurt when a blogger insulted me and my son as a CI user by labeling him as a potential psychiatric case. This is not the only situation, but there has been a few bloggers who continue to condemn cochlear implants.

    I applaud you and your true motives, the betterment of the deaf community. I applaud DerSankt for his awesome vlog. Embrace diversity and stay united for a common cause. I applaud DeafMom known as Karen for her hard work focusing on d/Deaf children and thier needs regardless of what choices parents have decided for them. I am excited to see an increased diverse body of bloggers entering DeafRead.

    Focus on the whole puzzle, not the pieces. The continued negativity is pushing me back a few steps and making me rethink of my priorities. Continue reading and commenting and sharing blogs/vlogs with our local DHH program and the parents or turn around and focus on what produces positive results, my involvement in Hands and Voices where parents show true appreciation?

    Hang in there. You are doing a great job for New Jersey and NAD at large.

  2. alan jeffers

    that is true it could be hurt decflicit thinking but dont let them bother me it is my langauge or your langauge what you want to speak anything if they dont like my langauge i dont care i like to speak my own freedom or help advice my point ” does it deficit thinking hurt our advice to you ? ” i dont think so it is your buiness langauge or mine langauge. mostly people is very good education. some people got poor education depend on due health reason. like mine health rest i been stroke and cyst in my head i lost educatiion but wait in min i can fight get back education by read vlog or books. does i said something about deficit thinking of me ? i bet they will said no ! it is your deficit thinking what you like or dont like it ? it is my life what i am try to speak asl as english speak up. there is nothing can be scare of you or me if you scare of me maybe i will kiss you make feel better go away deficit thinking said aaawwwwww or oooohhhhhh. deficit thinking mean nothing can do. dont let deficit thinking bother you there is nothing as needle pitch you. let open our cheer mind off deificit thinking nothing aganist you. maybe i am wrong saying i dont care that my speak talking to you and help as advice to me or them. i said one words deficit thinking go in trash garbage.

  3. A Deaf Pundit

    Just be yourself, and say what you think. People will recognize authenticity and respect you for that. If more of us do that, others will follow in our footsteps.

    Good blog, and I’m sorry about what happened to you.

  4. Aslpride

    I am sorry that this situation has happen, but it is my pleasure to able to know you and grab a chance to meet you face to face, through VP. :) You are in my list for another example of oppression on ASLAN from deficit-thinking. However, you are welcome to keep in touch with me as I would like to continue work with you in the future when you are up to it. I will continue expose my term to ensure our comfort zone and common cause.

    Good luck and continue to be an advocate for deaf community! :)

    Sincerely,
    Aslpride

  5. boomboomgear

    Sean, Happy New Year. What a nice thing to say, especially fresh out on the start of the very new year.

    You are a man of your words and a taller person who show gratitude in forgiveness. It helps, not for the other individual, but for yourself.

    I agree with you that we should all focus on making our society a better place it should be.

    Kudos and continue to get taller and taller. :-)

    Jade

  6. Platonic's Eye

    How can deficit thinking be harmful to who or what? If youstay on a course what you are doing to stand up for what you believe in Deaf Right then stay and there are plenty of people who just happen to be a deficit thinking. You can demonstrate what positive can do for those people who are deficit thinking to possiblity thinking you can help and show them!!!

  7. Joey Baer

    Sean,

    It is not often people can admit their own honest feeling. I can relate to you sometimes because I continue to learn daily about myself.

    Oh sure, I found myself thinking deficit several times. What I did about it? I talked about it with some friends and tried to figure out how I can help myself to get out of it. The more I identify some inner feelings and thinkings, it helped me to be a better person in attempt to make good things happen within the Deaf Community.

    I am still learning and looking forward to many more great days for Deaf people on this Earth!

  8. ella lentz

    Hi Sean,
    I’m not clear what exactly happened to you today but want to tell you you have exhibited an amazing huge difference in your “tone” when discussing Deaf people from your 4 part “Deaf Culture, are you sure?” to this powerful, honest and positive posting.
    I look forward to continuing debating and reflecting on deeper issues affecting our language, culture, politics and Deafhood with you and others.
    Thanks!

  9. Karen Mayes

    I am sorry that you had to get subjected to the cyberbulling in DeafRead (well, more of a strong disagreement which led to a bitter aftertaste, whatever.) I don’t let it bother me, it is a matter of developing a thick skin. I draw a line at the self-claimed leaders who attack outright on the DeafRead. Don’t let it stop you… you offered up wonderful ideas which led to great discussions. Sure, there will always be some people who’d disagree and attempt to belittle you in front of people.

    You are not indulging in the “deficit thinking”… I never saw that. Cyberbulling, belittling, refusing to agree to disagree, not willing to listen, not willing to acknowledge your words, etc. are actions of deficit thinking. You did not show any of that.

    Don’t let cyberbulling to stop you… you can just acknowledge one’s opinion and move on, instead of trying to explain your opinion, trying to mesh yours to others, etc.

    Hope you’d come back to DeafRead soon.

  10. White Ghost

    I feel for you. I am so sorry for what happened to you recently.

    All you did your best to solve some issues.

    For what the person did to you was uncalled for. It was out of control. That person *SHOULD* have posted and tell you in a civilized manner way. For instance, For Sean, please email me directly and provide you this person’s email address through the blog site.

    So that way, you and the person can correspondence each other in a private.

    For what I understand your situation, you may not realize that you made mistake and it was not your intentional. I can see that, as long as you *DID NOT* provide other people’s email address without their consent.

    Don’t let other people get to you, just focus what you are working on your passion and charity.

    All the best,

    White Ghost

  11. LS

    Actually being lurking on DR has helping me to be clear conscious what may come if I become a vlogger. The truth I’m sensitive to negative comments. It also help me to re consider what topics or theme my vlog shall be.

    As of now I have some ideas, there will be something that will be my joy. You demonstrate strong and brave model for us. :-) Truth and share. Wow.

  12. Sean

    Everyone,

    Thanks for the positive comments. It means lot to me.

    As you may notice, I have not yet post any negative comments in this post. If you recall I mentioned in my blog, I will not promote deficit thinking from now and on. It means,

    * Anonymous negative comments will be not posted.
    * Any racial slurs comments will not be posted.
    * Any defamation to the character comments will not be posted.

    It does not mean, I will not allow any different-opinionated comments; I most certainly welcome them all. I respect your freedom of express. However, I cannot simply allow anonymous negative comments continue.

    One of the anonymous comment I received inquires why I removed all other posts I made; I think I’m willing to answer that. I felt oppression when I was being slandered at. I dug up my grave bit further while defending myself and saw that I’m feeding the wood to the fire. I became someone I don’t like. I decided to pull myself off and end this appalling act. I wanted to step back and look at myself, what can I do better for the community? Actually, I want to quit blogging (the actual reason of deleting previous posts) for a while, I may have a change in heart because some of you are really worthwhile for me to continue promoting creative discussion about Deaf culture & rights.

    I would have post that comment up, but this comment also includes some negative comments in it. Thus, I didn’t allow this post to be included.

    Again, Thanks for the vote of confidence!

  13. Curious Eyes

    Sean, I hope you don’t quit blogging. I was very impressed how you handled a difficult situation in a mature and thoughtful manner, including processing of emotions, without putting down anyone else or laying the blame elsewhere. I think you are doing the right thing by removing your own posts that “feed the fire” and deleting negative comments from anonymous bashers. NJAD is lucky to have you for its president. Please continue to fight the good fight for deaf rights everywhere.

  14. Paotie

    Sean ..

    Well done! I like your approach to how you’re managing your blog’s comments. You are to be commended for taking responsibility for yourself and by being a great example.

    Your humility suggests you are a person of great character. We may disagree from time to time on some issues, but I have a great sense of respect for you now.

    Excellent!

    Keep on truckin’ ..

    :o)

    Paotie

  15. todos la vie

    I like hanging out with those who are themselves and not what they appear or want to be. Like Dolly Parton, the big busted woman who doesn’t take the twang out of anything, she’s pretty direct. I appreciate the honesty in your posting. You explained that some people had held back issues in their blogging, not being honest. Perhaps when people read this, they’d be more conscientious.

  16. Deb Ann

    You are amazing because it doesn’t happen often that people don’t admit their own mistake or honest feeling. It’s the way to be a better person. It happens to me and I am sure it’s happening to everyone when they have a same experince. You are the good example and it will make them to think about themselves.

    I also want to let you know that I loved your vlogs about the four parts of cultures! We don’t want to miss you, Sean!

    Honestly, I have no idea about what’s exact going on here, but it’s not important.

    So, I’m looking forward to many more great days for Deaf people on this Deafread and to your upcoming VLOGS/POSTS!

  17. Mia

    I second to A Deaf Pundit, Be yourself. I learned something new from you from part 1 to 4 are those most interesting. Don’t give that up!

  18. KyDeafie

    I truly am sorry what has happened to you but I am glad you have decide not to pull out completely. Give us chance to know you better. This is the best place where we learn new every day. Looking forward your new blog/vlogs.
    Good Luck.

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